One of the first signs of the new Ford era in Toronto was the post-election anointing of Nick Kouvalis as the rainmaker and magician responsible for the transformation of Rob Ford from the laughable oaf we all knew into a colossus of municipal politics. Most of the stories (links to be added) were laughable: Nick saved Ford from an ugly Florida DUI incident; Nick kept John Tory out of the race with a phony phone call to his radio show, a phony Twitter account and a goofy YouTube animation. Even John Tory played along, saying that he personally gained new respect for the campaign when he heard that Nick Kouvalis was on board. People who actually knew the old Nick Kouvalis might have wondered other things. Little things like, how could a boat with both Rob Ford and Nick in it actually stay afloat? Or, how could a hothead and wing-nut like Kouvalis keep a hothead and wing-nut like Ford focused and on topic? In search of the real Kouvalis, our crack research staff has unearthed video from early 2007 when a considerably larger version of Nick was helping out a Windsor-area alderman with his video blog on Windsor’s budget debate. It turns out that there was flooding in South Walkerville the year before.So what is the real story? What transformed this guy, who looked right at home in the South Walkerville floods, into a rainmaker? The simple answer is always best. Apparently, the Ford family really, really, really wanted Rob Ford to finally have a real job, and they were willing to pay. During the campaign, the man who is now Ford’s Chief of Staff in charge of implementing a zero tax increase with no service cuts could spend money like a drunken sailor. Like Zizek says, it’s end times.
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