He’s so sorry

Toronto’s Mayor decided to “apologize” for his baseless, vile and stupid accusations about Daniel Dale. Here’s a report by Marcus Gee of what Ford told Lord Con Black:

Mr. Black, the former press baron, asked him to name the most “offensive events – abrasions – that have been perpetrated on you or your family by the media?”

“Well,” replied Mr. Ford, “I guess the worst one was Daniel Dale in my backyard taking pictures. I have little kids. When a guy’s taking pictures of little kids” – and here Mr. Ford shook his head and gave a small, skeptical laugh – “I don’t want to say that word but you start thinking, ‘What’s this guy all about?’”

The insinuation was clear. Watch the interview online, if you can stomach it. There is no doubt what he is getting at. If that is not what he was saying – if he wants to argue, once again, that he was misinterpreted and it was all just a big mistake – he had better come out and say so, and do it fast. To leave such a slur hanging would be unconscionable, if such a word can be applied to a man such as Mr. Ford.

Ford’s apology was a bit after the deadline. And somehow he manages to claim in his “apology” that he believed what his trusted neighbour told him, that Dale was “leering” over his fence. That must have been a slip of the tongue. His Lardship was apparently reading from “a prepared statement.” Here’s the particular passage:

“To be clear, I never personally saw Mr. Dale peering over the fence or taking pictures. My neighbour told me, however, that he did see someone doing this. Mr. Dale apparently denies that. At that moment, I honestly believed, I honestly believed my neighbour’s account of the event. I had no idea at the time who the person was my neighbour told me was leering over my fence.” [italics added]

You have to wonder. I’m sure the Ford boys will tell us that every word of it was drafted by one of the best lawyers in the world and that the only thing young Robbie added was his trademark, “Sincerely… sincerely… sincerely.” Sceptics might wonder about how so many other people conspired to create the misunderstanding when the entire rest of the world clearly and instantly understood that Ford’s words implied that Dale had an unnatural interest in Ford’s children. They would probably question the sincerity of the apology. However, what kind of legal adviser would draft an apology for that kind of “misunderstanding” and include the words “peer” and “leer” in it. If it was in the text prepared by their lawyer, Mother Ford should demand her money back. She’s probably going to need it.

As well, this was the second apology Ford made in council today. The first was to all of Council. At the close of yesterday’s meeting he intervened when the speaker ruled that his seatmate, Giorgio Mamolitti, who was being unruly, had to leave the chamber. Ford had whined at the speaker that it was unfair that Giorgio had to leave and that the most corrupt councillors got to stay. Ford refused to retract his remarks and council was adjourned. Here are Giorgio and Robbie the next day, clowning around before Ford issued his first retraction and apology of the day. They look so remorseful. It also looks like the Mayor’s diet and workout regime are going well. Crisco forever! Poutine rules! Pass that bucket of KFC!

Here’s the video of the practice apology. See where you think it ranks on the Uriah Heep Sincerity Index.

Here’s the National Post report of apology 1:

Rob Ford gave his longest, but not necessarily most heartfelt, apology this year when he asked city council if saying he was “super, super, super, super, super, super, super sorry” for calling them corrupt was a good-enough apology. Ford was asked to apologize after Councillor Gord Perks said he heard the mayor say “only the corrupt ones get to stay” after Speaker Frances Nunziata asked Councillor Giorgio Mammoliti to leave Monday’s meeting. “I can’t remember exactly what it was that was said ….I said I withdraw that comment that I made to say if there were any corrupt councillors…I’m not quite sure what was said, but I withdraw that,” Ford said in council chambers Tuesday morning. But council immediately erupted with various councillors pointing out he did not actually apologize by saying sorry. “You need to say ‘I apologize,’ Nunziata said to Ford. Mayor Ford didn’t miss a beat. “How about ‘I am so sorry?’ Is that as good as I apologized?’ he said. “Which one do you want Madam Speaker? Like super, super, super, super, super, super, super, sorry?” “Do you want me to apologize, do you want me to dance around?” he asked council. In a sign of how serious Ford took the apology, he played to his supporters by pretending to be taken out of council chambers in handcuffs.

All that he left out was acting out the cavity search performed on new inmates by our correctional services. He might want to practice his lines for that increasingly likely upcoming encounter.