Mayor Robbie’s Ex-Lax Express

Further to our ongoing treatment of Mayor-elect Rob Ford as a local expression of the Zizek’s Chocolate Laxative phenomenon, here’s his first real policy initiative. During the election cycle, the  Fourth Estate listened so patiently while Rob Ford told them in elaborate detail about his extraordinary exploits with telephone, e-mail and personal scheduling. No one ever asked him exactly how he packed 26 hours of work into a standard 24-hour day. After he was elected and people asked him how exactly he was going to stop the “gravy train” and “wasteful spending” and get the deficit under control, he would tell them he was going to cancel the car tax and the land-transfer tax. No journalist ever impertinently pointed out that these actions would actually add $300,000,000 to the debit side of the ledger. It makes you wonder what kind of CFO he was at the Ford family printing business. Maybe his family just wanted him to have a job that would make it impossible for him to drop in for five hours a week at Deco Labels and Tags to screw things up. Here, thanks to the Globe and Mail art department, is a graphic depiction of the Ford plan for a lean and mean trans-Scarberian railroad. Wow, it costs three times as much, covers half the distance and makes about one-third of the stops of the Miller LRT Gravy Train! Howard Moscoe said on the CBC this morning that he thought it would take the press about six months to make hamburger out of Mayor Ford. I think it’s going to be much faster food than that. The only real question is whether it will be served with fries and poutine. The short-order cook for this TTC masterpiece is going to be Karen Stintz. As this clip shows, she should definitely remember to take her publicly-funded shrill pills before serves up this Ford special to the TTC brass. Stay tuned. It could be interesting.